Directing bishops in breakfast lines reminds me much of my work at St. John's with the Welcome Committee. For a brief period of 30 minutes, I stand in front of the door to the dining hall, smiling and welcoming bishops into breakfast. Some bishops will pass, say hello and move on. Others, on the other hand, will extend a warm hand of welcome and introduce themselves. All smile and say hello as they wait at times some 20 minutes in a line into the dining hall.
The rest of the morning I helped the bishops to arrive at their appropriate Bible Study locations in Eliot College (about 100 meters away from Rutherford Hall). As you might know, there are separate conferences for bishops and spouses. The Bible Study was the first time in the conference where the bishops and spouses separated; the bishops heading towards Eliot College and the spouses heading in the opposite direction towards the Sports Hall, located on the opposite side of campus. As I directed the bishops and spouses, I realized that the spouses reacted differently across cultures to their separation. Some parted ways with ease, barely saying goodbye. Other spouses, such as those from Africa and India, wanted to stay close to their husbands. On one occasion, one bishop from India waited on the stairs of Eliot College and watched to make sure his wife was headed in the right direction and patiently waited until she was out of sight. Though this might be a study on gender issues between countries, I also had to remember that for many of these spouses, and perhaps bishops, it was the first time that they traveled out of their own country. Stepping into Western culture had to be quite frightening! Though I wanted to make a judgment call towards sexism, it was much easier to be sensitive to remember that many were nervous and still trying to cope with culture shock. Hey, if I was visiting a completely different culture than my own, I would be prone to attach to those whom I can identify the easiest with!
The agenda for the morning was that the bishops would leave Eliot Hall after their Bible Study (they studied John 1-18 with the theme "The one who is in the bosom of the Father") and head to the Cathedral for a day of retreat. This would be the agenda for two more days. Down in the Cathedral, the bishops would have a time of prayer and listen to addresses made by the Archbishop Rowan. Since the Cathedral had separate group of Stewards working the event, we were not required to work down at the Cathedral so we managed the loading and unloading of the buses and the events happening at the spouses’ venue.
After the bishops left their Bible Study in Eliot Hall, we prepared Eliot Hall for the spouses to arrive for their Bible Study. As the spouses arrived, I directed them to their appropriate rooms (all designated by the names of Saints). On this day, I directed spouses towards the rooms named Saint Swithin (I need to find who that is), Thomas, Timothy, Julian of Norwich, Katherine, Leo, Eusebius, Faith, etc. Unexpectedly, a group of about 25 spouses from Africa grouped around me and all insisted that they all meet together and wanted to all jam into a room that only fit at maximum 8 people. As I tried to figure out what as going on, I felt a quite anger rising up in me. Why didn't they understand me? Why weren't they clear to me with what they wanted? Why couldn't they understand that only 8 people could fit into the Bible Study rooms? Before the anger got too strong, I tried to stop myself because it wasn't that they couldn't understand. It was more about our cross-cultural communication. The cultures that we came from were so completely different that we had a hard time understanding each other's words, intentions and nonverbal communication. Quietly I said a small prayer for patience and led the wives down to the dining hall where all of them could group together and share fellowship within a larger room that could hold all of them. My way of communicating was not better in this situation. It was more about both of cultures emerging and having to make reach out and make amends to communicate in ways that both of us could understand.
Well, I could write more but I don't want to bore you. I did get to listen to Jane Williams about her new book called Marriage, Mitres and Being Myself. It sounds like an interesting book which draws upon the various experiences of the spouses of bishops. It was fun event, jammed packed with delegates and served with wine, coffee and fair-trade, organic chocolates from "Divine." Side note: coffee and sugar all over England is fair-trade and organic...even in public transportation!
I followed up my evening with evening prayer in a prayer place designated on campus. Monks and nuns from various orders are praying over the Lambeth Conference from early morning (6:30 a.m.) to late in the evening (10 p.m.). Praying through the psalms and various other prayers, it was comforting and energizing since I am helping out with the morning Eucharist at 6:45 a.m. tomorrow morning.
May God bless the bishops and the spouses at the Lambeth Conference and give them the energy to be patient and understanding to each other, though they may speak different languages, are used to different customs and may have difficulty at times being patient with each other.
Good night! I linked a Monty Python skit below just for laughs. Enjoy!
1 comment:
Thanks for the Monty Python clip. You sound like you are pretty busy. Interesting about the African spouses -- What's up with that? Aren't they supposed to have the experience of cross-cultural conversation? Did that grouping throw off other groups? Inquiring minds want to know!
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